Your comfort zone - your friend or your enemy?

  What is it? Your comfort zone. For different people it's different. It's probably depends on your nature, upbringing, age, the country you are living in and so many other different factors.
  When it is especially nasty outside (like today for example) and you do not want to step out and go to work.
 Well, on days like this I am thinking about poor people many-many years ago when my granddad was young and people were under illusion that revolution and mass killing of half population of your country could solve social and economical problems fast.
  I remember my granddad telling that story not to me but to other people as I was just a little kid but I had ears too and was listening though probably should not. 
   It was about people who were sent to Siberia in winter just because they had more 'stuff' than others.
And at that time word 'rich' was a dangerous one. They were thrown into cattle wagons without any warm clothing, food, anything that could help them to survive and sent for thousand miles into deep forests of Siberia, and left there to die or to survive if you can. And most amazing thing was that some of them managed to survive there - to build a shelter, to find food and eventually to return and to tell their amazing stories.
 My granddad was lucky, he was not that 'rich' and he made sure that he never had any 'stuff' in his possession in future, that no one would envy him or wanted to take away his property. In a socialist country to have something that no one should posses (like two cows for example)  was really dangerous. Through all my life I was thinking about those brave people who managed to survive in absolutely unsurvivable position, when authorities clearly wanted them to die and brought them to Siberia to die. Did they have their comfort zone at all. I know my parents did not. They were scared by system very good and never spoke their mind.
 I was born when that madness was over. None of my close relatives were sent anywhere. Society became more open and tolerant, at least from outside. We still had dissidents. People still could not openly criticize authorizes or government.We still did not know what real freedom inside society meant. Our comfort zone  was to have a job, a family, a good paycheck, friends. People who wanted more usually did not clearly understand what and how they could do that. When my husband wanted to go abroad, I did not. It was clearly outside my comfort zone.
It took me many years to understand what freedom means in Canada for example.
   That no one is going to chaise me around here just because I am different.
   That no one cares how good or bad I speak English.
   That as long as I do not break any laws no one will come to arrest me (for what???).
  Through years here my comfort zone has changed. I think a lot of fear left from it. it's a good thing.
Now I have to learn how to step out of it and accomplish something that I want, that I can, that I should. Because I am alive, free human being and I know I don't have to be afraid anymore. Life is too short.
Though I am still afraid to step out of my comfort zone, because no one is going to come and tell me what to do with my life. I must do it myself.

New 2014, new dreams, promises...

  It's 2014 already, scary in a way.
  Time. It used to be a speeding train, now it's almost like a rocket. I am telling you - the older you become - the faster your time is running out on you.
  You have to be careful with your time, how you spend it; careful with what you spend it on and to think carefully what you can do with it. I wasted so much of it on other people, who never fulfilled their promises to me or to themselves.

  Can I afford to waste what is left for me? No, definitely not!
  I still have some things I need to accomplish and this new year is as good as any. Who knows how many I still have?
  And it's not like I am terminally ill or something (hopefully, I am not!), but life is so unpredictable, you never know.
   I want to learn another European language, most likely French, may be Spanish. To expand mine horizons so to say if nothing else.
  I want to find a company that sells healthy products for everyday use, that are healthy without added harmful stuff, and incorporate them into my household and never-ever use that cheap and harmful crap that I am still using now. And for that I have to learn how to sell those products to other people because without that I won't be able to afford them. I need extra money, they are NOT cheap.
  I am still thinking about buying my own place to live. Don't know if it is realistic in 2014 but I can try.
  May be I should lose some weight for good measure?
  I think that is enough for one year. If I am able to pull all this through in 2014, it will be awesome.
. What do you think?

A poor person cannot be healthy in Canada.

  Recently I realized that in a civilized country like Canada  a poor person cannot be healthy. It's a sad thing but it's true. And it's not all about food only.  Even if you are not that poor. It's not like you live on a street and have no idea when you next meal is going to happen.
  If you work minimum wage (and consider yourself lucky if you do because thousands cannot even have that!), and, as I said, if you have that minimum but you have some dependents or cannot work full time because of small kids etc, you are kind of doomed. And I will explain.
 We have lots of cheap foods going around. You are not going to starve, but you are going to be very malnourished and loaded with bunch of chemicals and fillers instead of wholesome food - sadly but that all cheap food is famous for.
   Regular tap water is fluoridated. Yes, I agree, it is safer, won't get some e coli, cholera or whatever you can get from contaminated water. But is it healthy, is it good for you? Of course not! As if a dose of chlorine in your water is not enough!  But do you have a choice if you are poor ? Of course not. You cannot possibly buy water in bottles, or put reverse osmosis into your kitchen. So you drink what you can. Same with other food.
  Juice, that stands for months on a shelf without spoiling, or bread, or milk or any other fresh product that lasts for months without noticeable changes - that does not sound natural. I have a package of bread on top of a microwave at work right now. Second month it has been there, no one bothers to throw it away, it still looks pretty good, I think somebody ate a piece of it yesterday. Is it a real bread, or is it just looks like one? If it walks like duck... no, not this time...
 Everything produced by our food industry looks exactly like food, even if it is not, even if it's dangerous like hell to consume it. And don't think you can get away, that you somehow can eat all that non-food and stay healthy.
  No amount of exercise will help, because food you put inside you every day is loaded with things that are pure chemicals and should be used for something else - to kill cockroaches for example, or rats, or bugs, but not your children, whom you give cola,"juice","milk","meat","snacks","water", "yogurt", clean their teeth with toothpaste that is loaded with same fluoride he just swallowed with his water. You put some sunscreen on him, that will be absorbed very quickly by his small body and is NOT good for anybody, especially children.
 And don't tell me that those things are safe. They are here because they are cheap to produce and they make good profit. And you need them as dog needs flees. One more child with cancer? One more poor old lady with Alzheimer? Who cares! We need our millions in profits.
 Recently I bought a toothpaste - all natural, no fluoride, no other bad stuff for $6 a piece. Regular 'Crest' you can buy for $1 on sale very often. Can a poor person afford that?
Same with shampoo. All natural  - $15, loaded with crap - $2. Free run chicken costs $19, regular chicken legs - poor people's meat -  $0.99 a pound. You can say, - what's your point? I don't know. Yes, we see more and more natural products around, but who can afford them? Not poor people for sure.
I know that it's very dangerous to be poor in Canada, no amount of free medicine or plenty of Shopper's Drug Marts on every corner can help. And doctor is not your friend. You have to help him to fill his own pockets, and if you and your children will be healthy, who is going to pay doctor's bills? He still needs to buy organic food for his children.
So, please, stay poor and sick for your doctor's sake. He really needs that money.
 But sorry,  this not about doctors. We should have plenty of cheap food in a civilized country, and it should be natural - as much as possible, and it is possible. People used to have food and preserve it for long time for centuries. I am sure, you do not need rat poison for that. That's my idea.

I have to confess: I never smoked ...

Yes, guys. I shamefully confess : I never smoked crack cocaine.
 I never smoked marijuana.
 I never even smoked  cigarettes.
You see how dull, uninteresting, non-contemporary I am?
 Shame on me!
 I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. Such a stupid person.
Where is my sense of adventure?
 My willingness to open new horizons, to go where no man went before, to experience inexperienced, to follow noble steps of our best?
Why can't I be like our best ones?The ones that rule us, ones that we vote for, ones that we see everyday in media, the decision makes, ones we voted for (have I said that already?).
Did I actually voted for that overfed, shameless, loudmouthed pig with famous last name that can do anything and say anything and no one can arrest him or just show him his real place in this world? No! This is my country too and I want to be proud of it because it's one of the best.
We just have to make rules that's are good for everybody, laws that are laws for everybody, never mind your position in a society - you have to follow the rules even if you are making them, especially if you are making them. You have to be the example for everybody. This guy is a bad joke, an embarrassing one. Because he does not give a damn about you and me and he should not be where he is.
That's what I think. That's my opinion. Take it or leave it. Just don't pretend it's not happening because it's happened already. And it's a shame on all us.

Being busy 24 hours - not possible!

        Sometimes it looks like I am working 24 hours. I know it is impossible and it's not true. I still sleep every night, but it is still very stressful life and I promised myself to go easy this year, to quit one job, to go to bed early, not to eat before going to bed - promises, promises...
 Well, I am still working 7 days a week. I do not eat after 9 pm. I still sleep less than 8 hours and my crazy cat keeps interrupting my very valuable sleep... I know, I know, it very dangerous.

  Sometimes I have to pay for my stressful lifestyle by high blood-pressure spikes, fibrillation attacks, what not. Well, I am just a human. I hate poverty. At the end of my month I have to have a couple of bucks in my account, extra I mean. I s it too much to ask? I still need my own place to live and I am sure it's reasonable wish, isn't it?

 And I am not going to count sheets of my bathroom tissue or dry and reuse my paper towel - no way. And I am still learning how to earn money om line, when I have time. What time? Sleeping time of course, what do you think? Well, I almost stopped cooking for myself. I buy canned sardines for lunch at work. There is always old fashioned oatmeal for breakfast or my old trusted friend fried egg with some quick salad from sealed plastic packages from supermarket, or with boiled potatoes on a side if I get lucky. Anything that does not take much time to cook.
   I read a lot when I can, it's my way of relaxation and not thinking about how stupid my life is because working like that is not good, even reckless and non productive and... stupid again. No one should work like that and I am not going to, may be just a little bit until I can afford not to, if i can... if I dare... if I'll be able to... I still need to save some money, those dirty pieces of paper that rules the world and my small life. I need them damn it, I really need them. Sorry, have to run. Time to go to work.

These everyday things should be illegal in my opinion.

  We are so accustomed to certain environment, certain way of behavior that we do not see and comprehend sometimes what's going on under our nose. What these simple things do to us, to our senses, our health, our stability - mental and physical. As soon as people get used to have those things around that's it. You just cannot get rid of it no matter how bad it is. I'll explain.

 Every morning I get up and go to work. Yes, every morning, no weekend breaks for me right now.      Because I do not have days off, I am trying to find hours off, - time when I can unwind, breathe fresh air, think about something pleasant, call my friend, etc. I usually do not read on a bus. I am trying to close my eyes and relax, thinking about something other than work. Often I try to walk from my work  at least  part of my way, as it is far from the place I live and again just mentally concentrate on something nice and not to think about bad or mundane everyday things.

 People who travel north of Steeles in Toronto know how easy it is if you are using bus service. Very often I have to stand at the bus stop for 20 minutes or more waiting for a bus, usually I am surrounded by clouds of smoke from somebody who is equally waiting for the same bus and smoking right in front of me, or behind me. It does not matter, because we breathe the same air and I have to smoke together with him/her whether I like it or not. All I can do - step aside but I still can smell that foul poisonous stuff and inhale some of it too.When he or she finishes, the stub will be thrown on the ground and left there to pollute our big city and it's environment.

If I had  my wish I would make smoking illegal anywhere. That's it, no more, and if you smoke - pay big fine for pollution, for ruining your health and others' who are near you. Will it ever be possible? Not in my life time I am sure. People still think it's okay to smoke and leave that poisonous residue for birds and small animals on the ground. Who cares? I do, actually.

  I hate when people poison themselves with smoke, or with drinks like cola, that (they say) has some secret ingredient in it. I do not know about the secret one, but when I read all those things on a label they have to admit they put in it, I do not want anybody to drink it. It does not sound like a drink that's made for human consumption. That stuff should be illegal too. Drink coke - pay a fine, put it into your children mouths - pay even more. Though you'll probably pay for that later with their health ruined by you any way. Doctors will never tell you that . If you come to them with  complains about your health, they will speak about environment, general pollution, genetic problems, new age diseases,  and don't worry, they have pills for everything. But be prepared, if your child drinks cola, (diet, shmiet, any cola) - you are contributing to his ill health for sure. Drinking cola should be illegal. Period!

Do you call it progress?

These things should be illegal too. -  Almost every morning I go through local plaza to the bus stop. Those guys are working hard, making lots of noise, polluting environment with gasoline fumes from running motors, with very little effect as a result. They just blow dirt, dust, pieces of paper back into the air for poor passers-by to breathe in. A pair of rakes could do much better job, with much less pollution and damage to my ears. These instruments of torture should be thrown out into the garbage and not allowed to use. Ever!
                                              May be I am too naive, may be I

Do you have to eat me?

should see the progress and not complain.  But I do complain. I complain about things that don't have to exist in contemporary world, things that are
cruel, damaging and senseless like eating meat for example. That should be illegal too. Yes, yes, burger lovers! Just think for a moment, please. Every peace of meat was yesterday a living being, not human but still living and did not want to be dead and eaten by anybody.
This piece of meat could be running today around enjoying fresh air and sun and society of equal beings, not human but still beings and you took it away to satisfy your relentless hunger that could be easily satisfied without killing animals, without eating them. Do not say I am crazy, I just want you to think for your own good. There are other options. We can make our life better. We just have to stop for a moment and think about it, and may be start doing things differently and you know, smart thinking can never possibly be illegal, at least not in Canada as far as I know.

I did not buy a jar of stuffed olives yesterday though I wanted to...

  Yes,I went to No Frills, as I wanted to buy something for my potato salad. I had some pickles, green onions at home and I decided to buy some pickled (marinated) olives as I like them with salads. I took a small jar, not expensive, nothing fancy, just stuffed green olives for a dollar something. I was about to put it into my shopping basket that already had some greens in it. But then I decided to read the label on the jar. I did not expect anything but salt, vinegar and olives. Boy, I had a surprise! Yes it said olives,vinegar,salt all right and 3 or four foreign sounding ingredients extra that sounded suspiciously like bunch of preservatives and something that had a brief commentary to it "to help maintain freshness". And what the heck is 'natural flavor'?
  Stupid me! I always thought that  only fresh, not spoiled food can maintain freshness. Do we need to swallow chemicals in order to eat unspoiled food? May be we should change the way we cook and preserve food instead of adding 'unfood' to it, what do you think?

 I tried to find another jar of olives. I checked different brands and more expensive ones to no avail. They all had 'unfood' in it. So I decided I can live without olives this time. May be next time somebody will sell me something that has just olives and vinegar, and salt. As it used to be. As it used to be in my old country where if there is not enough food you can buy at the store, you can go to a farmers market, check around and sure enough -  some old granny is selling her tasty preserves to people. I need that granny here in  Canada, because this monstrous conglomerate that's called Food Industry is selling me poison. One pinch at a time, here and there, in this and in that until I have cancer, or heart attack, or something equally nasty. Don't tell me it's okay, it's a small amount. It's not okay. People eat  lots of preserved food because it's fast, convenient and we just sometimes need time for something else, rather than spend our life in the kitchen preparing everything from scratch. You open a can and part of your meal is already prepared. Saves time for rest or study, or work for that matter. Give us that time but please, do not feed us 'unfood' - we deserve better, we earned it.

I found this label on Internet with right ingredients in it. That's how things should be. Organic or not.  I wonder how much these beauties cost though... Can I afford healthy food?