Is it a myth? Or does it really exist? Do, we immigrants come to a new country scared and eager and hungry? And I am not talking about physical hunger. Nothing like that. It’s different kind of hunger. Hunger for something you never had a chance to have, you could not even dream of having and now there mere possibility of having it makes you really hungry and restless.
You just need to try a little bit harder. To run a little bit faster. So you can be the first to grab it. And voila! You do not know how it happened but now you are running around working two or three jobs , saving every penny so you can have stuff and lots of it.
Clothes, gadgets, car, another car, the house to live, the house for a rental investments.
Run faster and faster, no stop for you, no rest for you.
You keep forgetting something, something you used to remember, something really important, if only you could stop for a moment, you would probably be able to remember that important thing you forgot. You lost your friends you left in your old country, your old friends you do not have time to write to.
Not that you have time for new friends either. You need more and more work, more and more stuff.
Kids are growing, need more things too: clothing, computers, what not. You do not buy books – no time to read. But you are paying for the cable, though you do not have time to watch TV.
You look at your growing kids wondering: why they are not like you? They are not in a hurry to run anywhere. They are sitting at home playing computer games and not in a rush to earn money or obtain things.
Did you forget something while chasing a dollar? Or is it that they are different and not hungry as you are. They do not suffer from immigrant syndrome like you because they are not immigrants like you, it’s their country and they are not in a hurry.
Nothing is going to disappear. They have everything they need: food, shelter, stuff. You supplied them with that and they are satisfied with what they have.
But why your are not satisfied, why do you try to get more? You still feel the need to have more, to save more, to obtain more.
Deep down you are scared that everything around you can disappear, can sink somewhere and you again will be in need and alone.
Why does it scare you so much, but not your children? Why is it me not them still running, still in high gear? When am I going to stop?
I am tired; I do not want to run any more. I want some rest, I want to loose my immigrant syndrome, to stop and simply enjoy my everyday life. How much is too much? What else do I need? But in vain I am asking all these questions over and over again. No one is there to answer them and I am still running…
