Gotta be kidding...

Recently I made a startling discovery: people do not use their brains in Canada (do not know about US though). But in Canada…cross my heart, I am not kidding. They walk around with super clever and determined expression on their super clean faces, they ready to smile to you with their super white teeth and help you very readily with directions if you ask them. Just please-please, do not ask!!! They will very happily send you into absolutely wrong direction. And if you ask 3 people, be sure, they will send you into absolutely 3 different contradictory directions (I tried believe me). They do not want to tell you very simple words: I do not know. No, they feel better sending you somewhere, as they want to be polite. Even if your destination is just the next street, they will send you across town to completely different place to be sure. Another thing. They always treat you as if you have some sort of a skin disease or made from thin semitransparent glass. They are very careful not to touch you and if you accidentally walk too close to they will sway aside and say sorry, as if they afraid to catch something from you or to break you accidentally. They do not think why they do that. They do not like to think. If they have a problem, they will try to find a specialist and ask his advice. They do not risk their health by not taking medication. If they have as little headache, they would run to the doctor and diligently swallow all prescribed pills even if all they need just a good night sleep. Trouble with spending - call financial advisor, let him rule your financial life for you. Couple of pounds extra? Call diet doctor, he’ll find right diet for you. Cannot find a girlfriend/boyfriend, go to e-harmony, they will find a match for you (at least they claim they do). How much to pay for your happiness? Is somebody selling? I want a piece! They (Canadians) are not trying to find a solution to their problem by themselves; they are looking for somebody to deliver it to them. Please, help us we cannot change our diet, habits, preferences, tastes, routines. We so depressed, give us tons of pills never mind side effects. Diarrhea, insomnia, bleeding, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, that’s okay, as long as no depression, baby! We so scared of depression we have to stop it right away. We cannot think how ridiculous it is. Think? Let somebody else do that for us. And we will drink the solution for our problem like a glass of water, no matter what the price tag to that solution is. Is it fear or laziness, or fright to break the rules or just a bad habit of not thinking? Can they just trust their own judgment? I know there are exceptions, but as a rule they do not want to use their brains for what it suppose to be used: thinking.
Is it that their life is too comfortable, or may be conspiracy of food industry? Or is there something in tap water? I do not know yet. I must find a professional, some specialist, who will help. My brain is not working. Must have eaten something or just becoming a Canadian.

It may be a very wrong opportunity, baby…

Everybody is looking for something: love, money, ideas.

Let’s talk about money first. That d* thing always comes first nowadays.
Everything looks so easy on Internet. Just do plenty of surveys. What can be easier, people will pay you for your opinion, will they? Nope.
Not that easy, not the way it is presented in multiple programs and paid “opportunities”. I am guilty; I bought into that kind of “opportunity”. It’s easy, quick, and completely useless.

I bought survey program and earned “0”, a big one.
So just do not waste your time and money, however small, it is your money, you do not have to pay scamsters. You have to realize, that people who advertise these programs are either affiliates who are trying to make a quick sales cash, without even thinking, what the heck they are selling, or creators of the so called “opportunity”, who are making money by selling the program, knowing very well, that you are not going to make any money.

They are going to make money, by finding a sucker who will buy it. You can sign up to any big company for free, They need surveys on a regular basis and for your participation and if you qualify, they will give you some points, lottery draws (sweepstakes).
But most important, you have to qualify for a survey.

And if you are a green elephant living in Alaska, you might not qualify for that particular survey today or any other day for that matter. And if by some lucky chance they need opinions of green elephants today, you can earn couple of points instead of peanuts you would prefer.
And to earn these points you have to participate in a lot of surveys, as many as possible. Theoretically you could win some sweepstakes.

I once won $100 US. Unfortunately I got only $70; US government deducted $30 dollars for taxes.

I live in Canada, and do not clearly understand why should I pay US tax? But I got the rest and was happy. Anything helps.
US government needs more money than me anyway. That’s a well-known fact. They have to feed more people. My problem with that stuff is that if you divide the amount you can get on the time you spent to get it, it does not sound right.
You better sit on the corner, at a subway or busy market and beg, you’ll get more, just kinda embarrassing for most people.

Same with pay per click, or reading email.
I joined some of them, wasted some time, quit, or just dropped out, waste of time. If you are earning $0,00015 for reading email, how long will it take you to earn $10? I am still with Clixsense, though, it is more like a curiosity. They sent me $7.60 recently worth almost a year’s clicking. Now I upgraded, may be will get more and sooner. But they are reliable and you can trust them.

We have to understand that to earn money right away, like substantial money, you need to invest considerably and knowledgeably.
You need to know what you are doing, or you’ll be loosing a lot. You need not sacrifice your last penny.
You can take some learning curve; you can even join some good MLM. MLM is a good opportunity, if you know how to build it, or somebody is willing to show you how to do it right.
In a reputable company with good and in demand product you can start with very little money and in time make you business work for you.

In 5 years if you have sufficient support of your upline, you can build a successful business and help others to do the same. It’s a wonderful idea. The problem is that many people too greedy or in a rush to make money fast and they turn the legal business into illegal pyramid scam and ruin everything, quit, even go to jail.

If you have some skills and knowledge, you can sell that opportunity on line or off. Just do not go into affiliate marketing without thorough investigation, do not scam and spam people. It’s unethical and immoral. Some programs are just useless junk, not worth a dime.

Sales person and a scoundrel is not the same, though start with the same letter.
If you have some interesting information, write about it and give it to people. We live in the Informational Age.

Good information worth paying for and people will pay for it. And if you do not have any skills, you can always help people who does have it, or help somebody off the Net.
We used to have plenty of rich people before Internet Era. We never missed Internet then.
And one more thing: being broke is not a genetic disorder; it’s a choice (I did not say that!). And money does grow on trees. It’s called Tree of Knowledge.
Just do not sit on your butt, do something, man (I said that!)

That’s 2 pennies of wisdom of a reluctant immigrant.

Just some ideas

I try to write more often, so not to lose my ideas, what I want to say .
Unfortunately I cannot do it very often. I come home from work too late and too tired. Only Saturdays give me some creative time. Another time, I lose unfortunately some of my thoughts, some topics of conversation.

Yesterday I was thinking: it is very interesting how somebody with enough money and power can twist your reality and basically feed you with wrong ideas and convince you that black is white and white is black! How many people after being introduced to credit cards started to live above their means, spending more than they have, more than they earn?

The whole society turned into consumers and spenders. Credit card, consumer cards, loans, loans, loans. They still spend. That’s why, probably, I just love to watch “Till debt do us part” program on TV. It’s very educational, shows us to what extent we can be reckless. Big time.
People have an ingrained habit to spend much more than they can afford in reality and do not even think twice about the consequences of overspending and indulging themselves.
They do not even give themselves trouble to stop and think first, to sit and calculate basic needs and availability of income to cover those needs before spending. And not to mix needs and wants, they are different.

Credit card is a crutch, you might need this crutch if you are in business, but in private life you just need common sense and a little bit of calculation, very simple. Credit became very easy, even if we do not have ready credit, we can go to daddy or mommy (even if mommy is 70 years old and still working to supplement needs of extended family).

I do not think, it is right. 70 years old women (men) should not work, they should have a rest from any necessity of earning their keeps; they have to enjoy their “golden years”. They had enough working. We have to use our own creativity and talents and simply find ways to earn more if you need more, or just do not buy stuff, if you do not have money. Simplify your life or earn more. It’s my opinion. Well, may be as s stupid immigrant, I just do not get certain things.
May be there are obligations to a certain life style present, prestige, etc, etc. What Joneses would say? How I can possibly use public transportation, when I need a car? We forget, that there always will be need for more money. The more we spend – the more we need thatgreen thing. Money, money, money.

People cannot relax; have fun, we always think about money and work, work, work. Extra hours, extra money. The more you earn, the more you spend, the more you need to earn.
New car, furniture, house, dress, trinkets, lots of them.
Life becomes too stressful, rest almost nonexistent. Even when we sit, we still tense and wired, ready to jump and run.
That’s why probably, medical profession so profitable in this country. We all have some kind of a problem, that needs regular visits with our medical cards to a specialist, who without even looking into our way of life, stress, background, financial and personal problems, having only 10-15 minutes to talk to us, because he has 10,20,30 more patients behind the door waiting. He will give us pills that suppose to successfully cure us. All kinds of pills: white, blue, green, yellow. Two in the morning, three in the afternoon. No, sorry, three in the morning, two in the afternoon. Then at night two more.
Side effects? Another pill. Headache? More pills. We have enough pills for everybody. We can even bring you pills home and if you forget to take, we can phone and remind you to take a pill. Isn’t it lovely?
Somehow doctors conveniently forgot that there are lots of time tested natural remedies, many very cheap and effective and with no side effects. No-no, that won’t do, we want quick fix and doctors willingly shower us with pills, injections, sometimes, tummy tuck, face lift, breast augmentation, liposuction, stomach stapling.
Quick fix, they can fix you permanently and forever,( like they fixed Michael Jackson, I still can not get over his death, such talent and such tragic fate).
But I lost my point. I just wanted to say, that while living among abundance of everything people loose certain ability of thinking and analyzing. Instead they take everything by its face value, not trying to be cautious, not using their brains, may be just looking for fun, for quick fix, easy way out, or may be just not paying attention. I do not know, why it happens that way. We do not ask question: What if? Only when something happens, we start looking for answers and ask questions, but it might be too late then…

In my old country people never had such terrible addictions, like addiction to food, to prescription medication. I think it’s so horrible and disgusting. People basically eat themselves to death and kill themselves with medications that suppose to cure, not kill! We have to start ask more questions and demand more answers and not to trust every professionally looking guy or girl with our valet or health and everything else.
But it’s just my reluctant immigrant’s opinion. You do not have to listen.

Socialism (communism) or capitalism? Make your pick, please.

And do not ask Karl Marx, he did not have a clue!

Grass is greener on the other side. It’s 1000% rule, ladies and gentlemen. Most of people, who are clamoring about communism (and socialism), practically do not have a clue about reality of it.
They live happily or unhappily in their blissful ignorance in a society with substantial freedom of speech (and other freedoms). They can say and print whatever they want and other passers-by are so polite and unrestricted, that they can even buy these ramblings or have it for free and read it, no matter how crazy or damaging for they psyche it might be!
They (writers) sure have a nice apartment with running hot and cold water with separate taps for it. They have a nice habit of having a steaming cup of coffee in the morning or whenever they like it while dreaming about better society and writing all kinds of sounding-clever-on-paper things.
They have plenty of time to sit in a warm and cozy room and write about any clever or stupid ideas of theirs or somebody else’s! They can swear at government and politicians, blame presidents, living and dead ones.
They criticize everything and everybody knowing very well, that nobody will come and arrest them, no matter how long or how stubborn they ‘ve been barking at their own tree…
They have never been on the other side of the fence, that’s why it so easy for them to write…
So, please, guys stop blaming Mr. Obama with being pro-communist or pro-socialist and listen a little to the world of some reality or experience.
By stroke of destiny (or was it a joke of destiny) I had experience in both worlds. I was born into socialism, lived there in a small place near Baltic Sea, more like a spit on the map but this spit is my old country and I love it very much!
By the way, people who live there are great patriots and hard working and honest, though very confused sometimes and do not know whom to believe any more. They have been lied to and deceived by all kind of ideas so much! Now they do not know whom to believe to.
In 1992 I was transplanted into different country - Canada, into capitalism,(or so they call it here) without any idea what I am going to do and how I am going to survive (with 3 small kids of mine ) and a husband with absolutely grandioso ideas and no clue what to do with them (ideas, not kids).
My husband came first by invitation of a business partner (finally we were allowed to have a business in our country!) and decided to stay. I did not want to come, I was completely scared. It was 1990, “perestroika”, inflation, tremendous social changes, no stability. I was scared to leave, I was scared to stay… I did not know what to expect.
I did not want to become a reluctant immigrant, but I was afraid of possibility of civil war over there, I did not want to be hurt, not with children. There was such a possibility at that time. Everything was stirred in the society big time.
Now, looking back, after 17 years of living under capitalism, though with some socialistic features like free medical services and welfare (we did not have a welfare in my country, because we did not have unemployment at that time), I can tell you frankly: I am choosing this blamed capitalist system with all its faults and insecurity and economical turmoil.
It is more natural, more viable, more real. It can be cruel and mean if we allow ourselves to be weak and feeble. Sometimes it forces you to be creative and it’s definitely not perfect (no system is perfect, there is no such thing). You have to understand, how it works, you have to do a lot of learning if you want to flourish, not perish in it. But it has great potential and it is up to us, people, to make it work better, to change it, to grow in it and with it.
For people who believe that communism is better: well,socialism is Utopia, perfect world on paper, mean in reality.
At a certain point we believe in Santa Claus and Peter Pan but then we have to grow up and understand that people make system the way it is. If you do not like it, you can leave and go somewhere else or you can stay and try to make it better.
But if you are not allowed to do anything by you own will, if system controls everything in your life, yourself including, that kind of system is not livable and not human.
It is damaging, dangerous and is doomed. THAT IS MY OPINION. But I am just a reluctant immigrant, am I? So how can I judge?
By the way, if you never read George Orwell’s “1984”, you must read it. At a certain period of time(way before Gorbachev) in my country some people went to Siberia for 25 years just for having it on their bookshelf.
So you owe it to them to read it. It’s grotesque and very real at the same time. Grotesque for people, who never lived under communism and very real for people who did.
See you later guys.

Who am I?
Diaries of a Reluctant Immigrant



I came to Canada in the year 1992, cold damp February 22nd . I still remember as if it was yesterday. But how could I possibly forget? I should have started my diaries then. It was a big change. A huge one. To become an immigrant, just like that.

I came reluctantly to this country. I call myself Reluctant Immigrant. It’s my secret name. Not a secret anymore, because I‘ve just told you. Please, do not tell anybody, I do not want people to laugh at me.
I always wanted to be positive and proper and like everybody else. You see I came from a communist country. A former communist country.

Everything was falling apart in 1992. It was called “perestroika”, that means like ”renovation of a society”. Rebuilding. Politicians are notorious for inventing of beautiful meaningful names, that in reality carry very little sense or even quite different meaning. Just more hardship for simple people like me. Poor people became poorer and suddenly we had rich people too. In Russia they were called “novyie russkyie” – “new Russians.

I do not want you to be confused, I am not from Russia, though my native language is Russian. I was born and raised as an immigrant in a small place that belonged to a huge power. USSR. It was hard. Your grandparents were deprived of everything for socialist ideas; your parents were forced to fight for the same ideas. And now it is even harder to comprehend. What are you suppose to fight for? Where is that f* Promised Land? Where is prosperity and abundance for everybody as promised?
I went to my country in 1999 for a sad occasion. Everybody suddenly developed mass amnesia and conveniently forgot state language (Russian). Even currency is different now.What you are supposed to believe now?

It is very hard when there is no party line to tell you how to live. It’s even harder for a whole county, than for a single person, I think, because no one really knows what to do and how to live any more. Socialist values devaluated, others are yet to be learned. After everything is
destroyed what you believed in or tried to believe in .You have to build something completely different. Who can tell you what is right and what is wrong?
People are like a flock of scared sheep. Do not know where to run. And where the hell is the Sheppard? Trial and error began.

I ran away with my family. It was not easy. Was it worth it? I do not know. Sometimes I feel guilty. I feel that by running away, by becoming an immigrant again, I betrayed my country, I abandoned it. My poor beloved country, it is so poor now… 12% + unemployment and no money to pay international loans… People are disappointed and bitter and angry.
Some other time I will tell you about it but not today. I did not want to emigrate anywhere because I loved my country. It’s so small and beautiful. Clinging to the Baltic Sea, torn by national hatred and prejudice, old historical grudge and new hunger for freedom and better life and just plain hunger….
I did not want to become an immigrant. It’s just sometimes happens that you have to go, you just do not have a choice.
One day I might tell you about that too. When I feel like it and if you want to listen.

I love Canada too. When you live in a country long enough it sort of grows on you.
At first I did not like it at all. Too different, too alien, or was it me who was alien? I did not know then, I still don’t know now. It’s not easy to be an immigrant. I was a reluctant immigrant remember?
The one thing I know, that it is a good, decent sort of a country and I love it. Not as my own country, in a different way but still love it.
You can keep your dignity here and be yourself. You do not have to pretend and hide and it is a good thing. You do not have to be something you are not, you can be what you are and if you are nobody then you are nobody and no one cares.
You can live a very good life here and be happy as far as you can if you can. You have to work very hard and sometimes you achieve very little as a result…

People come here from different parts of the world and everybody wants a piece of good luck, but not everybody knows how to get it. There are lots of choices here, good and bad.
But if you are not very greedy, you can get whatever you want if you know what you want. But if you don’t, you can always learn.
Of course it’s better, when you come with some money, it helps a lot. But you can get something without money just the same, you just have to work harder and run longer so to speak.

They have lots of food in this country by the way. Not all of it good though. I might tell you one day about my experience with all that food, and the way I learned how to deal with that “plenty- ness” of it, because when you are from a communist country you have to learn not to be greedy when food is around..
Not just food, here, in this country you see the abundance of everything, human resources too. People come from different countries: rich, poor, educated, not very, knowing their goals, having not a foggiest idea why the hell did they come, persecuted in they own country, or just plain bored, bored to be rich, or tired to be poor, legal or illegal, black, white, yellow, clever, talented, stupid, dumb as a… you’ve got the idea.
Of course at first you have to get some money (if you do not have any already) and status (you can not be illegal forever, it might get on your nerves or on the nerves of the government and they might do something stupid like sending you back, for example).

How can you get the money? You can rob a bank of course, that’s what people usually do when they desperately need money (at least they constantly show it in the movies as a wise solution to financial problems). You can go to work too, only in that case it will take you a little bit longer and you might not get that much satisfaction. Again, the authorities might not like your illegal ways of earning money and intervene (those meddlers)!
Though nowadays they do not keep that much money handy at the banks either (that’s what they say I never had a chance to check it). I read about one dude who robbed the bank and got $500! He was mad! His gun cost more.
The problem in this country if you are an immigrant, you have to have a certain amount of money to live on. First of all you have to pay rent and it is not cheap unless you agree to live in a closet with lots of people around in one place, it’s called shared accommodation and it is still not that cheap, though it is cheaper than a normal apartment.

But then I am not sure how legal it is. Normally you are supposed to rent one bedroom apartment if you are single. If you are trying to save some money and renting somebody’s basement, you better be a corpse. Are you asking why? Just read any rental ad in a newspaper: no pets, no kids, no smoking, drinking, no parties, prefer truck driver (one that absent all the time). No, guys, just rent to a corpse, he is not going to smoke, may be stink a little…
Seriously, if you have another grown up member of your family living with you, you are supposed to rent 2 bedroom apartment, even if you have enough space in one bedroom, they just do nor let you rent it (by my experience). If you do not have a well-paid job or you are on a single income with several people you support, you’ll be paying for rent practically all your earned money at least in a big city like Toronto. If you live in a small town, that’s another problem. Problem you can express in two words: NO JOBS. Especially not for an immigrant, not for a stupid reluctant immigrant with alien education. And education from a communist country is considered very alien even if it is very good by any standards! You just cannot prove it.
Of course you can live under a bridge, may be. Never tried. Might be kinda cold in winter. But some people do survive that way. Still I think it’s easier to survive here in this country than back there.
You really have to be very smart to survive in a communist country! First of all you have to learn how to be politically correct from early age (the earlier the safer for you)!
When I came to Canada we moved to the small town. I knew nothing about anything. Unemployment, hostility of provincial people towards aliens (I mean stupid immigrants), and I do not blame them. If you speak with an accent or do not speak English at all, then you look pretty dumb, it’s a fact. Then isolation... I have lived in a small town in Canada for almost 10 years, I know, what I am talking about.
You may ask: why didn’t I leave it and didn’t go to a bigger city? That’s another story...
Now I live in Toronto in a relatively inexpensive (for my area) very run down, screaming about renovations apartment with my two kids, one a student, another still in search for his place in life. In order to have some food (for my two cats too) I have to have another job on Sundays. In my area apartments are not very cheap. Well I am not complaining, as long as I have a job, I will be fine, but for how long? Right now I work, it’s a good thing and with some moonlighting I survive. I am very lucky, am I?
Nowadays it becomes harder and harder for an immigrant to get a job even in a big city like Toronto, because lots of manual low paid half-legal (under the table) jobs just disappeared together with half-legal employment agencies providing them.
So if you do not have very required skills or talents, it becomes harder and harder to get something that looks like a job!

That can be very stressful for people who lost their jobs or who are in the process of loosing it, or who are just thinking: who’s next? Please, not me!
Hopefully global economical down spiral will get better and people will learn how to get by with lot less and how not to waste resources and be more frugal.
Actually, when you are from communist background, certain things can be very difficult for you in a different system, for example, it is harder to feel independent, not to be afraid of authorities, to trust the law, to become a businessman (businesswoman).
At the same time to be frugal, to save, to pinch pennies for most immigrant people like me from modes background comes quite naturally. That’s what you had to do in your old country to survive. Socialist system gives you more security (even if it is a false one), no unemployment, almost no firing, your job is guaranteed to you, same as pension and free medical help, “free” (well, you are not paying from your pocket) education, and so on and so forth, but, no it is a BIG BUT! It’s rather a false security, because equal pay (salary) to everybody translates into a very miserably small salary for everybody. And if you did not read George Orwell:”1994”,I am begging you, please read. You will appreciate your country more and you will learn, that : ”Some people are more equal than others!” It will definitely help you with self-esteem.

Cheap housing translates into sharp unavailability of this housing.
You have to wait for 25 years to get 2 rooms (not bedrooms) apartment for your family without hot water or build a house with no money to do that like my parents did, sacrificing everything in a process (like food, clothing, rest, health basically and so on). So you’ll learn to be frugal big time! Well I crawl from under breaking Iron Wall (it was not iron after all) and came to Canada.
When I came to Canada I was so surprised that so many people here live above their means (credit cards galore) and so many of them just waste a lot of everything. Water, money, electricity, as if there was no tomorrow.
I remember that popular saying: “Buy more – save more.” People were busy into spending. Even at school here in Canada, I remember at my son’s class third grade or second, they would build pyramids from sugar and flour and painted it with colors and after class was over, they threw away everything. I am not saying that they should have eaten that, but still…To see that for a reluctant immigrant from the county were food was sacred and never plenty was more than strange!
So after more than 10 years in Canada, being a legal citizen of it, do I want to go home? You bet! Am I going? No way!
Whatever problems are here, over there they are hundred times bigger! Do I want to be part of that mess? No, I am not a hero and I do not believe I can change anything there, that’s the point. And I do not like discrimination and racism.
So whether I am reluctant immigrant or not, I am staying. Reluctantly. And please do not ask me to leave, because I won’t.
Long live Canada, my family and the Queen, naturally.
Have a nice day, everybody. Till next time.