I am a coward. I am a coward and a sucker, because I betray myself every single day of my life just because, I do not have courage to finish it all. And I am not talking about physical killing myself; I am not talking about physical suicide. I am talking about moral suicide, when every day of your life you are spending doing what somebody else needs to be done but not you. I am talking about that miserable drudgery that life can be when you spending it as an employee.
When you have to get up in the morning and do the same thing over and over again every day at the same time. If you watched that brilliant movie Groundhog Day you understand what I mean, and if you do not, please do watch it, as it exactly shows what life is for people like me. You can vivisect 24 hours of your life into little clutches of time and most of that time is wasted on unimportant things, unimportant for you.
At the end of the day you have not accomplished anything, you just earned some money to survive that’s all. And it pisses me off a big time. Between things I would rather do and things I have to do to survive there is a big gap I cannot close, because I do not know how.
I do not hate my job. My employers are very decent people who are struggling every day to stay in their business and put their hearts and souls to it. They immigrants like me; the only difference is that I am their employee.
Well, I should not complain. Thing could be much worse. Not to have a job as an immigrant is a disaster. At least I can pay my rent and at the end of a day I can have my outdated computer and high speed Internet (the only indulgences I could not live without). But deep down I consider myself a coward. Because I am scared to change my life, I tied myself to employee position and do not see any other option, not for me, never. And if for some reason I will lose my job, I will go and find another, sucker as I am.
A JOB (Just Over Broke). Isn’t it pathetic?
When you have to get up in the morning and do the same thing over and over again every day at the same time. If you watched that brilliant movie Groundhog Day you understand what I mean, and if you do not, please do watch it, as it exactly shows what life is for people like me. You can vivisect 24 hours of your life into little clutches of time and most of that time is wasted on unimportant things, unimportant for you.
At the end of the day you have not accomplished anything, you just earned some money to survive that’s all. And it pisses me off a big time. Between things I would rather do and things I have to do to survive there is a big gap I cannot close, because I do not know how.
I do not hate my job. My employers are very decent people who are struggling every day to stay in their business and put their hearts and souls to it. They immigrants like me; the only difference is that I am their employee.
Well, I should not complain. Thing could be much worse. Not to have a job as an immigrant is a disaster. At least I can pay my rent and at the end of a day I can have my outdated computer and high speed Internet (the only indulgences I could not live without). But deep down I consider myself a coward. Because I am scared to change my life, I tied myself to employee position and do not see any other option, not for me, never. And if for some reason I will lose my job, I will go and find another, sucker as I am.
A JOB (Just Over Broke). Isn’t it pathetic?
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