Big city lights: loneliness in a big city.

I've never thought it could be like that. By a stupid chance I've got myself living in a small town dreaming, longing about big city lights and noise, and all that hustle and bustle. People are everywhere. There is not time or space to feel lonely or to be depressed.
 And how far it was  from the truth! Now I am here, in a big city. Yes, noise is here all right,everywhere, no escape from it; and people, people who are trying to avoid you, not to push you or touch you. But they do not see you, unless you are wearing something outrageous or behave obnoxiously, - they do not pay attention, they do not know you. You are just a part of urban landscape, a moving part. Now you are here and next time you are gone.
Sometimes it feels strange, sometimes it hurts. You want somebody to say "hi" to you, or just talk to you or may be even swear at you, anything but that blank wall in their eyes. Eyes that see and don't see, people that hear and don't listen. And then loneliness creeps inside you, like a cold wind on the frosty day. You start shivering on a hot summer day, not because you are cold, but because you feel as if your soul is shrinking inside you, and there is no way you can stop that unless you find somebody who is going to listen, who can understand, who can share your feelings, who is your friend or just another human being who cares.
Yesterday I had a chance to talk to an elderly lady. We've been talking about living in immigration, how it affects your life, your children. She said a remarkable thing, " What's a point of having nice things if you do not have anybody to share it with?"  She lives in big city, same as me. She is an immigrant here, same as me. And she tries hard not to feel lonely, isolated, unwanted and unneeded.
 I guess when you come to a different country, you leave something more than just memories and distant (close) relatives back there. You leave your whole big world back there and you cannot replace it here in your new country, and you cannot bring your world with you.  It may be good or bad but it's yours and you will miss it for the rest of your life, unless... but that's another story and it needs another hero, not me. I am just a face in the crowd, a tired face with blank eyes that stare at you but do not see you, that do not want me to touch you or deal with you in any way... sorry, do not have time, I am in a hurry, do not want to miss my bus, I am taking home my groceries and my loneliness too...