Why is it so cold in Canada?

I think if you are moving from a warmer climate you should think in terms of tolerance, how much you are willing to stand it, the cold, I mean. In Canada, in Ontario especially, we have 4 distinctive seasons and we have to consider all of them, and to be prepared, and to be prepared beforehand. I already put out a small air conditioner in my window and keep it ready for occasion, though right now it is still +7C outside and rather windy.
It's spring now. I love spring in Canada. It is so short and nice. Either winter steals some of its beauty with cold nights and late snows, or summer with its untimely hot days and unexpectedly humid nights shortens it. Well, at least we do not have -40C in winter like Alberta has, so we should not complain here in Ontario. Usually seasons in Ontario (not going to vouch for all provinces) end up abruptly and quickly. So if it is May, you better buy and keep handy light clothes, fans, some cooling systems for sure. And if it is August, please, buy warm boots and winter jacket, you'll need them sooner than you think, as usual. A sight of a man in sandals and shorts when it is -10C outside is not inspiring to say the least.
 I understand when you are from a country where there is no snow, no temperatures below zero, no frost, you might not realise that even if you have a car, you better have warm clothing too. Really warm.
In cold climate when it is close to -20C with wind, you need a good insulated warm coat and boots, and some warm hat too because most heat goes out from your body if you are not wearing anything on your head. You need a warm hat, scarf and  coat and gloves or mittens. Then you will notice an interesting thing: it is not that cold in Canada actually if you are properly dressed. According to the season.

The worst April Fool’s day joke I ever experienced.

That happened on  April the 1^st. April Fool's day. Something, I’ve never experienced before.  I do not mind jokes. Usually people tell you that your back is white, or that somebody just called you and you have to go and see so-and-so who is waiting outside.  But what happened this time is not a good joke. On the contrary. It was an ordinary day. I came to work as usual, unlocked the door, checked my answering machine and wrote down the today’s date in my ledger. I went to the conference room and made my usual cup of tea. Somebody, one of our clients came and asked for some paper work. It was just the regular day. My boss came with her husband who recently passed the exam and now as a Mortgage Agent is trying to learn the ropes of mortgage business. Usually people come to the bank first to get their mortgage and if bank turns them down then they come to our company hoping we can help. Sometimes we can. It may be some glitch in their credit report, some unpaid debt that can be quickly paid and the credit score can be improved. Sometimes we cannot help but can give an advice, and next time they will come to us because they like us and feel confident in our professional approach. Anyway, it was just a day as any others, people would come and go, telephone calls, clients, some sales people passing buy, leaving their cards at my table and telephone numbers.  I usually do not have a set lunch time; I take some break when I see it’s convenient for everybody. This time I did not get out for a short walk or to buy some snack. I left my place  and stepped out a couple of times but when it was time to go home, I found out that all my money that I had in my wallet are gone to the last penny.  Just somebody got inside it and emptied it. April Fool’s day! I have no idea who might have done it. But joke is all on me, only I am not laughing for some reason.

I do not like what's going on in Japan.

Well, I am not talking about tsunami or earthquake. It might happen to any country. It's what is called seismic activity. Some people get killed. On a global scale no big deal. On a personal level it's a different story. I cannot imagine it on  a personal level, don't even want to think. Too scary. You've lost your home is one thing, but being nuked into the bargain? Is it the price of living in a civilised society? Is it green energy?

 I know we used to call nuclear energy "clean" energy.

I think disaster in Japan shows how bad that joke is. We all can be there. We should stop building that crap. Any big disaster can turn our planet into a donut hole. And we are doing it. We need energy, more and more. We turn it on and never bother to turn off. We keep our houses with thermostats on +25C, and complain that we do not have money to pay for it. We keep TV on, computer on, lights on, air conditioner on all summer whether it is hot or not so hot, it's still on, why bother? They will build new power plants, invent new energy, we will waste new same way we are wasting the old one now. We drive cars whether it's 10 miles or 10 steps. We drive it to buy a pack of cigarettes around the corner. We drive our children to school that stands around the block. May be we should stop and pay attention. I do not like that thing that happened in Japan. You should not too.

Is that life real? Who needs all that poverty?

An old worn up bag lady stumbles on the invisible crack in the payment. Like an ancient gray bird hardly moving on her old ugly swollen legs, she mumbles something known and heard only by herself.

 She crawls into a dingy hole that is her room in a run down apartment as old and shabby as herself. Nothing but old and rusty things in her room. Nothing valuable, nothing nice, dust and cockroaches everywhere. Pile of  dim plastic dishes in the sink, old wooden box with a stained cloth on it for a table, two old mattresses on top of each other is her bed in the corner, no sheets, old torn blanket.

Was she always like that? Where are her children if any? Or some relatives to lend her a helping hand, to provide a better place to live and some healthy food? Why does she have to live like that? Alone in this dirty room. A small pension can be enough if you have a decent place to live. I cannot help but wondering, did she work when she was young? Has she lost everything that she had, got robbed, got sick? I don't know. Her face keeps its secrets, all it says,"I am sick and poor, I do not have anything."

Yes, but poverty does not have to be like that - ugly, dirty, hopeless. I look at her, wondering if my fate is going to be like that. If  I live to an old age, am I going to be that ugly, lonely and poor? Can I prevent it? Not the age but poverty bothers me, that hopeless poverty, "no way out" kind of poverty. Or is it just her choice? To be independent from anybody and everybody, to have minimum and do not care? Just to move along until the last leaf of her life falls down. Why? Do we need all that? Is there any sense in that life? I pity and I resent her.

 I cannot help thinking about my own age. What am I  going to do when I am going to be old and helpless and cannot work any more? It is already $5 for a loath of bread.   Am I going to starve? Are my children going to care? Can I do something now? Or is it too late? I do not want to be like that. I do not want to be like her. I do care.

I think those food producers are too comfortable...

I think those food producers are way too comfortable. They still mass produce all that crap that makes us sick, and we keep paying for it, keep eating it.

 It maddens me big time. People, please, read the labels!

 Stop drinking sodas. it's nothing but liquid sugar + and it's bad for you. Very bad, very-very bad.

It's not just obesity, it's a lot of other things. Do not make doctors happy and rich, you health is your life. What can you possibly accomplish without it? Do you need to get sick to use your brain? Are you still drinking "diet" coke? Or put "sweet-N-low" in your coffee? You are still buying milk, aren't you? That processed white liquid that was collected from 50 (100?) cows, heated, killing everything "alive" in it, sealed into plastic bags and delivered to you, after you paid money to have the right to drink it, and to have hard time to digest it, because there is nothing natural left in it. Y-u-ck! 

You  are buying that so called commercial juice made from concentrate that had been frozen last year, kept in containers, diluted with water with added corn syrup, pasteurized and... you can guess the rest. Your body has to deal with it, don't be surprised if you are not feeling that great, -  be surprised if you are feeling great, it may be just your luck, until it runs out on you...

 Bread, the smell of it brings so much memories. It is a part of any culture. What's happened to it? Why do I have to buy it wrapped in plastic, sliced, soft like a sponge, forever "fresh"? You eat it you, you do not feel right, you feel bloated and ... hungry. Somebody blames wheat, another - gluten, sugar, bleaching of flour, bromate, fats added to it. Who knows what's the real problem is?

Well, you cannot make yourself everything you eat, you have to rely on the others, and others are trying to make some money by selling you produce that traditionally was part of everybody's diet. But certain things changed and mass production turned some products into something that is not food for life anymore. If you eat it, it will make you sick, not now, may be not even tomorrow but it will. Your body needs natural unprocessed, mostly uncooked free of pollution food. And if you can accomplish that you'll be surprised how little of it you really need to feel healthy and happy and full of life. Wake up and smell your coffee, just do not put sugar in it, please, I am begging you.

"I started out with nothing and still have most of that left"

I like that quotation. It's about me. It looks like I'll come to the retirement years without a lot. Well, actually with nothing. It scares me a bit. Not that much though. Eventually I have to leave the Earth and it does not matter if I have millions or nothing. You cannot take it with you on your last journey, I wish I could have something. Well, I wish I had something that I could leave to my children, in that case they do not have to be like me - poor. I do not like poverty. The hopelessness and helplessness of it. And everyday worry about money and things. I like nice things - furniture, jewelry, books with nice covers and golden letters on front cover. I would love to have a good library of my own with all best classics that I love but I know it's impossible unless I win a lottery. But for that you have at least to play it and I don't. I do not want to spend money I don't have on things that's impossible to attain. Or should I? Should I dream about impossible and try and against all odds go ahead and do crazy things? No, it is not me. I basically do not need a lot for myself, I just see that my kids are not trying to accomplish something, they are not that driven. And that scares me because I am not getting any younger. I've missed something important in my life. It was long ago and I do not remember what it was. I just know  that I would've done that when it was the right time, not now. Now it is too late, not for them (my kids) but for me. Now I have to live the way I can, not the way I want and that bugs me. May be I am wrong though. May be I still can try and live my life the way I want to. May be if I do, I am not going to feel sick and worried, and depressed. May be I'll be able to soar above mundane troubles and misgivings of my soul, and just feel alive - not like a dead tree in winter. I do not want to be that dead wood, seriously, I don't. I just don't know how to do that.
Recently I found out that my credit report is not as good as I expected and I owe somebody money, some rental place from like 5 years ago. We just could not sit there till the end of our lease and moved out early, month or two not much, but they put it to small claims court. Now I cannot expect any favours from any bank, I have to save my own money, I guess, because I cannot pay that debt and really don't want to kill myself over it. It's not worth it. I was wondering, is it possible to live in Canada and not to owe  somebody something? I thought I can, but looks like I cannot. I need a lot of stuff, I am postponing everything, all buying but for how long? Everything I earn goes for rent and food, and I do not want credit card debts, that's a murder for sure. Sometimes I think,"If I stayed in my old country, where would I be now?" Life consists of series of occasions, accidents, last minute decisions we knew nothing about an hour ago, so it's hard to predict, what's going to happen. Well, I still feel like I am on a platform waiting for my train to come, so I can go home. Where is that train?

Things we do not need, but we want them for sure.

To survive we do not need a lot of things. Water, bread, air to breathe, shelter from cold and rain. A hot stove to cook a dinner and to warm your hands after long and wearisome day. Some clothes on our back. But in reality we need more, we want more. We want something that is ours. Our car, our home.

We want things, special things, that are beautiful and unique, or just luxurious and fashionable. We want a car to move around and not to depend on public transportation, we want a house or an apartment that belongs to us, not just a rental place.

We (especially women) want nice clothes and more than enough of them, so we could change our image and look differently all the time. But sometimes that choices take too much time and money from us and we cannot resist temptation to get more than we need and pay more than we can afford to obtain that. And we end up with lots of debts and frustrations, and with plenty of unnecessary things we cannot get rid of. Or some people become sick with hoarding.

 I never even heard about such affliction in my old country where we had the only choice usually - one type of a product, one brand and probably limited so you can just buy one piece, or one kilo or one thing of it (like one loath of bread) even if you need more. It's just 2 choices - to have it or to have not, to buy it or to buy not. So you could make an instant decision without complex procedure of making up your mind what color, size or brand  to buy. Just grab it until somebody else does and be happy, and take good care of that thing or it might get ruined by something and then you have to live without it until another occasion. Is it a good thing or not when you have multiple choices?

 I guess some things are really can be more simple. We do not need 50 brands of toothpaste or 30 brands of bread or soap at the store. Or may be 100 brands of cookies or cereals in colorful boxes. They are not good nutritional product anyway. And they are basically the same, just boxes and prices are different. So far if I met a really healthy cookie, the price was usually astronomically high, so I never had a chance to appreciate the taste - beyond my league, sorry.

Well, right now so many thins are just made in China, and there is not much quality in them. You cannot expect to buy a winter coat and wear it for 10 years in such way that it still looks good on you after that. Or shoes/boots that you can wear for 5 years and be happy with it. Things are not the same now. I used to buy boots that you could wear for 5 years but they were not made in China... 

A lot of choices probably is a good thing anyway, i just do not want to spend so much time at the store, I value my time and my money. So buying a complete crap even a cheap one is not nice either.

 I bought a bed in April 2010. It is January now and I already giving away parts of it, as I am going to throw away it soon. My mattress is absolute garbage. All springs are sticking into my ribs already. And I assumed that a bed supposed to last a long time, not half a year. Do I want a new bed? No, I don't. Do I have to buy it? I am afraid I have to.

I do not like sleeping on springs. Not much fun after all. So what is sustaining our economy - our buying power, or existence of credit cards, as our buying power is close to zero, as most of us are in a survival mode anyway? Well, I am all for choices, for lots of choices - in employment possibilities, in cheap housing, in healthy nutritional food.  Wishful thinking, I am afraid, it's not going to happen. not in my lifetime.